Should We Kid or Not? Episode 2

- Is this your first time doing something like this?

- Yes.

- Me too.

(upbeat music) I'm Cameron, my wife and I have five kids.

We live in Brooklyn and we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, often known as Mormons.

- I'm Kelsey, I'm from Indiana.

I am childfree, I'm bisexual, and I'm the oldest of five children.

- Oh gosh, that's kind of a loaded question.

Honestly, I think it's kind of irresponsible.

I think about it in terms of climate change, and the effect that the number of people on this planet are affecting it.

- Right, my wife and I have five kids.

I don't feel like there's anything else that's more engaging than being with my kids.

There's no show I could go see, there's no project that I could work on that would be better than spending time with them.

- According to a Business Insider poll, before deciding to have children.

How does that make you feel?

- I believe that climate change is a real thing.

But I also feel like, I mean, if we're doing math here, and people are having fewer kids, couldn't I have as many as I want, then?

I don't know the answer to that.

I haven't, I haven't-- - There actually are websites.

- Is there?

- That keep track of how many births by the second versus how many people have died per second, and then tracks the population growth, and it's frightening, honestly.

There've been studies that show the best way to reduce the carbon footprint is to not really have children, or have fewer children.

- I didn't really like other kids when I was a kid.

I've always kind of been an old woman on the inside.

I want to sit at home in silence and read a book and drink tea with my cats.

Kids annoyed me from very, very early on.

- Kids can be really annoying.

- They really can!

(laughing) I actually first started asking for permanent birth control when I turned 18, and I didn't get sterilized until last year when I was 29.

So it took me 11 years to find a doctor who would take me seriously.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- Made my Grandma very upset.

- Is she the most upset by it, you think?

- I would say so.

She gave me some speech about how God put women on the planet to be wives and mothers, and I was like, yeah, I'm an atheist, so.

- For me, having a religious perspective on having kids, I think that's the biggest kind of influence, the biggest kind of denominator.

We are all spirit children of God.

Part of His plan for us to progress spiritually involves coming here and gaining a physical body.

I believe that I'm helping to give some of my brothers and sisters that opportunity.

And that denying them that would be more detrimental than the climate change that's happening now.

Next question.

- All right.

How do you feel about abortion?

- There are certainly instances where abortion should be considered.

Rape or incest, or if a mother's health is compromised.

But for me, as a society, we could do a much better job helping women with unwanted pregnancies to feel like they can have the child and it can have a good life, so that there doesn't have to be the same-- - But not necessarily, though, I mean, adoption isn't always the answer because it's one more child out of how many are already in the system that don't have homes.

- I understand that.

But I also feel like there is such a value on a human life.

- I honestly cannot imagine how horrifying that would be to force someone to be pregnant if they don't want to be pregnant.

For me personally, I couldn't imagine bringing a child into a planet that we could potentially kill in the next 30, 50 years.

- Even if that child could possibly help save it?

- I mean, I don't know.

(laughing) It's a difficult question because yes, that child could save the planet, but I don't think just one person can change everything.

It's going to take everyone working together, and that's the biggest problem right now, especially in this country, is getting people to work together.

- Agreed.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- If they ask, yes.

You kinda have to be careful about the audience around you when you say things.

What most people in Indiana do is they graduate high school, they get married and they have babies.

The pressure, it's monumental.

I cannot tell you how many people have said, "Oh, do you have kids?"

And I say, "No."

And then immediately it's, well, why don't you have kids?

Kids are amazing, you should be doing this, you're wasting your life if you don't have kids.

And it's just a constant onslaught.

- Right.

- Of people judging my life from the outside, and they know nothing about me.

- Yeah, I think my wife and I deal with that on a different level here in New York, where having five kids is more of an anomaly.

Like, one of the first things people want to know is are you going to have any more?

As if they need to brace themselves and be ready for however many more we're gonna have.

And then a lot of times people are like, ah, God bless you.

And He does.

I was in a situation where somebody just like straight out of the blue just introduced me like this is Cameron, he has five kids.

And the woman reacted in such a way I did, I got a little offended, because she was just kind of like, oh, okay.

- Right, that's such a strange way to introduce someone.

That's part of your life, but that doesn't identify you.

- Yeah, I don't feel like it defines who I am at my core.

And maybe that's part of the struggle too, it's like 'cause once you've got 'em, there's no going back.

- Right.

- You can't take it back to the store and say, you know, this-- - I'd like to return this baby, please.

- This isn't gonna work for me.

It's not my size, it doesn't go with my outfit.

Good job.

- Good job.

- I feel like more and more people are choosing not to have kids.

But I can't help but feel like they're missing out.

If any of my kids decided that they didn't wanna have kids, I would probably do a lot of introspection and wonder if I had done anything to make them feel that way.

- I was kinda surprised that he was so, I guess, supportive of my choice.

He didn't make any kind of remarks that I'm used to getting from people.

It was really nice to meet you.

- The things Kelsey said about climate change, that is a concern to me, and I think there are things that I could do better to teach my own kids about that.

- I'm kinda sad that it's over, like I would sit and talk with him for much longer if you'd let me.

(laughing)