I started getting worried about my position early in February, I believe, as soon as the deferred resignation program came out.

I was a probationary employee since I had only been with NRCS for nine months, even though I've been working as a partner biologist with NRCS for four years before that.

But I didn't want to resign.

I actually enjoy my job.

The deferred resignation program closed I believe on February 12th.

February 13th.

I went into work like normal.

At 8:00 at night, I got an empty email with an attachment that said in the title of the document that it was a template.

Nothing really specific to me.

My name and a title.

The rest of it was straight boilerplate.

You could tell it was the same for everyone.

It said that my continued employment was not in the further interest of our nation effectively.

They looped in poor performance.

They did not even ask my supervisor who would have told them that I had a good six month employer review.

In fact, I got the honor of calling my own supervisor and letting him know that I had been fired.

I've been thinking a lot lately, with the instability in my work, and how much I am reluctant to move away from the prairie.

And part of it comes down to roots.

[projector click] I grew up in Karval, Colorado, which is on the Eastern Plains, on a small ranch.

We are fourth generation on the land with me.

I grew up sort of loving the Eastern Plains.

A lot of people look at the prairie and they see flat, and that looks boring.

Which is a total misunderstanding of the prairie in general.

Its this hugely complex ecosystem with lots of different microclimates.

When I go out and stand on a sandy hill, or something, the big open sky above me, clouds racing across with the wind.

Its sort of awe-inspiring to me.

There's really no way to express how big it is, and how small you can feel in it.

I've been a wildlife biologist for 13 years, and found a great fit here in Colorado.

Because what I was doing in that role is working directly with farmers and ranchers in the area, I mean, they're like me and my dad, I just wanted to be a part of doing bigger things in Colorado.

And the fact that I'm not allowed to do it is tough to swallow, but it's compounded by the fact that I'm afraid that this opportunity may never come again.

Because my termination was due to poor performance, if another federal job comes along, I may not be allowed to interview for it, even because I will be stacked at the bottom of the pile as a poor performing federal employee.

And there are now thousands of people like me who did really good work for the agency, some of whom got promotions, that's why they were probationary, who are now stacked at the bottom of the pile for poor performance.

I'm hearing that there's a court case that says that the firing of federal employees is illegal, and it must be halted.

So it goes back and forth.

Its sort of keeping me stuck in limbo.

I cant move forward.

I cant move backward.

I want to go back.

I will go back.

And if I get fired properly, I'll turn the page.

That's all I'm looking for, I guess, is some sort of acknowledgment so that I can turn the page for myself.

We're real people, and we wanted to do good work.

That's why we're in these roles.

And I think we ought to be treated that way.