Tom

(snapping) (beeping) (dryer humming) (indistinct chatter on T.V.)

- Yeah, this chapter's boring.

We've already seen this episode.

Still pretty funny though.

(cell phone buzzing) Always on the phone.

Please don't take too long.

(door bell ringing) - [Mom] So how was she tonight?

- Mom.

- When am I gonna meet her?

- You'll meet her soon.

- [Mom] Soon?

- Yeah.

- I wanna know everything.

Commere.

Commere.

(sighing) It's just that you've been seeing each other for quite a while now, and I haven't even met her.

I don't even know what she looks like.

I don't know anything.

- Well what do you want to know?

- I want you to know that it is a bad sign that she doesn't wanna meet your mother.

You know why, right?

Angel boy, you know.

It's because she's probably doing other guys and she is ashamed of herself.

She doesn't wanna meet me.

She doesn't wanna face me.

She knows that if she looks me in the eye, she'll be able to tell that I know exactly what she's up to.

- Jesus Mom.

- It's true.

It's true.

I was young once.

I was on the set of the Blues Brothers the night they blew up the gas station.

Are you hungry?

- No, we ate earlier.

- [Mom] What'd you eat?

- Chicken and rice and then you heat it up in the microwave.

- You didn't take her out?

- No, she wanted to stay in.

- [Mom] Well what'd you do?

- Watch T.V.

(laughing) - That musta been fun.

Did you have fun?

- Yes.

Yes and I'm seeing her tomorrow.

(crickets) - [Vince] Yo.

- I'm just looking for my cell phone.

- [Vince] Relax, man, she changed rooms.

I had to come down here and join you.

I'm Vince by the way.

It's nice to meet you finally.

- You've seen me here before?

- Yeah, kind of.

(indistinct chatter) - God, will you look at that body?

- Hey, don't talk about her like that.

- What?

- You shouldn't be looking at her in the bathroom.

That's fucked up man.

She doesn't want you looking at her there.

- You think she wants you looking at her through here?

- You know, you're kinda creepy man.

- Hey Rocko, I'm trying to be nice and shit, and you get all snippy.

(eerie music) (police sirens) (police radio) - So let me get this straight.

You were driving by and you saw somebody peeping back behind the house?

- Yes.

- And you went back there because you felt it looked suspicious?

- Yes.

- You were gonna call the police, but you got into an argument with the guy first and then he ran?

- Yes.

- Uh huh.

(eerie music) - Could I meet her?

- Look, I believe you were trying to do the right thing, but you shoulda called us first.

We had to hear about it from a neighbor.

And that young lady's pretty shaken up after seeing you outside her window.

She's probably terrified of you.

I'm gonna have to ask you not to contact her again.

- I'd like it if I could go talk to her.

Try and explain it.

- No.

No, we can handle that for you.

- I mean, it can't hurt to just say hi or something - That's our job, we'll do it.

- Yeah but I-- - Look, just head home.

We got it from here.

(car engine) - Hi angel.

Why are you coming home so early?

- It's over.

- What'd you do?

- It's not my fault.

She ruined everything.

What am I gonna do?

It was so perfect.

It was so perfect and I was so nice to her.

Why would she do this to me?

- Go back and get her.

Now.

(eerie music)